


It Is Us

by Crescence



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: First Anniversary, Log Cottages and Lakes, M/M, Philkas - Freeform, Philkas in love, Weekend Gateaways into the Woods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-17 00:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crescence/pseuds/Crescence
Summary: Philip feels his chest expand and his heart press against his ribcage with an ache. He holds onto Lukas' hands on his face, gazes into his eyes bluer than the sky in Tivoli summers, that sunlight spun golden hair, his lips still red from kissing him; he gazes at the whole breath robbing beauty of him and whispers three words he didn’t believe he could ever say to him.“Happy anniversary, Lukas.”





	

The winding road wriggles its way into the thickness of soaring evergreen trees. The height of them so sublime, Philip could convince himself the tips could touch the sky above them. Early spring is only a touch warmer than winter in the Hudson Valley and despite the ocean of butterscotch sunlight spilling through the leaves, it’s still way too cold for them to roll down the windows and let the fresh mountain air in. The silvery fog that shaded most of their drive all the way here is now left below them, hanging like suspended clouds in lower altitudes, dyeing everything in shades of grey. From the way the windows fog with the heat trapped inside with them, Philip is thankful to the quiet blow of hot air pooling from the front panel and onto their linked hands over the center console.

Lukas, however, is frowning.

“Are you making me help you kidnap me?” This is the fifty eight time he has unsuccessfully tried to guess where Philip is leading him.

Philip snorts. “As if I’d need help with that.”

“No but if that’s the case I should play my part,” Lukas says with a grin. A quick flash of light in his blue eyes and Philip knows he is about to hear something scandalous.

“You know, I should kick and squirm and beg my captor to release me,” Lukas finishes with a glance in his direction and Philip can’t help the way his stomach flips at the way Lukas says _release_.  

“Maybe next year,” Philip chuckles and runs his fingers through the hair falling over Lukas’s ear. It’s been longer the past few months than he has kept it for a year and Philip loves that extra half inch his fingers can bury themselves in. His phone gives a vibration and he looks down to see his map directions updating via GPS link.

“Turn right at the next exit.”

“Is there even anything here?” Lukas asks suspiciously, trying for the fifty ninth time, but takes the exit without hesitation.

“You’ll see.”

Philip’s heart is drumming against his ribcage with excitement and nerves. He reaches forward to turn off the radio and tries to let the untouched calm surrounding them to seep into him. He thinks Lukas will like his present but the what ifs are still running rampant in his head even as they approach the destination Philip can watch drawing closer from his phone. He has worked so hard to make this happen and he wants Lukas to like it so badly he could hardly eat the past week.

“What if I kidnap you instead?” Lukas asks and Philip is momentarily too distracted to feel anxious, finds himself laughing. A part of him knows that was exactly the purpose. Warmth floods into him.

“You want to capture your captor?” he laughs and doesn’t miss the way Lukas’s cheeks pull back to accommodate that pleased grin Philip would fight anything to protect.

“I could throw you over my shoulder and take you to the closest hotel,” he muses while taking a wide turn into a narrower but clean road.

“You could try,” Philip returns and it’s Lukas’s turn to snort.

“Like you would stop me.” He narrows his eyes at the end of the road where some settlements peek through the trees. “I just don’t know if they have hotels here. Wherever this place even… is” he quiets as they approach a wide lumber gate with carved writing across the rings of heartwood.

_Eagle’s Nest_

Philip watches him so intently as he drives past the gate and comes to a stop by a clearing, he barely even notices the sparsely spread log cottages and the main house half swallowed with wild ivy. Lukas looks at him with such warm amusement, he finds himself smiling back at him without even realizing.

“Eagle’s Nest?”

“Yep.”

“The name played no part in choosing this place?”

“Of course not,” Philip grins at him.

Lukas looks back out the front window, at the clearing in the middle carpeted with leaves and broken branches, the gleam of a lake behind the main house that can be seen through the gaps in the trees and the varnished log cottages nestled beneath them. His hand tightens around Philip’s.

“Three days?”

“Yeah.”

“Here? With you?”

“If you’d like."

“Are you kidding me?” He leans over, plopping his arms crossed over the wheel to look out the front window, to take the view in. Philip watches him with a kind of love so vast, he is sure the oceans of the Earth couldn’t hold it in. Lukas turns to him, reaches across the center console and takes his lips without pause or hesitation and it’s like every nerve in Philip’s body is hotwired to be aware of and respond to Lukas’s touch. He melts into his hands like Lukas is his sculptor shaping him into life and melts into his mouth like he wants to pour himself into him. It’s been a year since he has first felt these lips against his and it still sets his insides ablaze, steals the breath from his lungs, draws a bone-deep shiver up his spine. When Lukas breaks off, forehead still pressed against his, Philip indulges in that heady moment of complete intoxication when everything around them dissipates and time itself seems to hold its breath.

“You are a real romantic, you know that?” Lukas mutters against his lips.

“So you like it?” Philip smiles, meeting his eyes. Lukas brushes a thumb along his bottom lip.

“I love it. Thank you.”

Philip feels his chest expand and his heart press against his ribcage with an ache. He holds onto Lukas' hands on his face, gazes into his eyes bluer than the sky in Tivoli summers, that sunlight spun golden hair, his lips still red from kissing him; he gazes at the whole breath robbing beauty of him and whispers three words he didn’t believe he could ever say to him.

“Happy anniversary, Lukas.”

* * *

 

Philip finds him in the bedroom. Windowed on three sides with full view of the woods surrounding them, the bedroom juts out the cottage they rented for the weekend into the heart of the nature. A cast-iron fireplace stands in the middle of the room, already lit by the innkeepers, spitting flickering specks of orange light onto the hardwood floor with occasional sounds of splitting wood. Lukas stands in front of the windows with his back to him, backpack and coat still on. Philip drops his at the foot of the bed and holds his hand, resting his head on his shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” Lukas makes a gesture towards the view. “I can’t believe you did all this.” His eyes find Philip’s. “For me.”

Philip reaches up to nuzzle the tip of his nose against his, gives him a quiet, gentle kiss. They gaze at each other through half-lidded eyes, lips parted, sharing the same breath.

“You gave me New York. I wanted to give you something too.”

“Yeah but I didn’t… work for it. I didn’t gave myself callouses to make it happen,” Lukas raises one of his hands to his lips as he says it. With a tenderness that floods Philip with dizzying warmth, he kisses the inside of his palm and then the tips of each of his fingers before pressing his hand against his own cheek. Philip watches him with his heart throbbing in his throat, the weight of emotion surging inside him.

“There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you,” he tells him and his voice is a whisper against his lips, feather light like the flutter of butterfly wings. Lukas swallows the weight of his words, adam’s apple bobbing, brows drawn in a frown.

“Philip,” he mutters and closes his eyes, lips painfully close but not touching and Philip knows he is trying to stay in the echoes of his confession, let it run its course through his veins, kicking up his heartbeat. Philip keeps one hand on his cheek, throwing his other arm around his shoulders to hold him by the parka he is wearing and he pulls himself up on his toes, aligning their faces.

“Lukas,” he calls out to him and feels his arms go around his back, hands closing tight around his shirt, pulling him flush against him and they both gasp, Philip losing the first syllables of his words into the heat of Lukas’s mouth. “Nothing… nothing is too much, too far, too difficult. I’ll follow you anywhere.”

Lukas opens his eyes to find his and there is a fire in them that undoes every last muscle in Philip’s body so when Lukas pushes him back against the log wall, a hand going up his back to weave into his hair, Philip moves like a leaf before a hurricane. The last second before Lukas’s lips find his floods his mouth with such sweet anticipation, he moans a helpless plea as Lukas closes every inch between them, everywhere at once.

The rush of his kiss is white-hot fever surging in the pit of his gut and he is blind with the heat of it as Lukas presses him to the wall, his whole body moving with his mouth, driving him up against the wood, and dragging him back down without stopping to breathe. Philip breaks off with a groan, throwing his head back and Lukas’s hands slide under his thighs, lifting him up, guiding his legs around his waist and Philip arches into him, feeling his mouth searing into his neck; that delicious sting of his claim and the way his hips seek that agonizing pleasure against him.

“Lukas,” he gasps and hisses as heat spreads further inside him at the feel of his teeth grazing his collarbone. “Lukas… Lukas, please. I want you. Please,” he pleads and Lukas shivers.

“Baby,” he pants into his mouth, his hips still rolling against him. “Tell me what you want. Let me hear you.”

Philip feels his skin from the crown of his head to the middle of his chest burn aflame but he can’t look anywhere but right into the fire of those blue eyes and he is shaking with a kind of desire so strong he is naked with it He follows Lukas’s lips like he is in a trance and his words tumble into his mouth through the tremble of his breaths.

“You. I want you,” he whimpers and chokes back a gasp as Lukas moves just right against him. “I want you... in me.”

Then it is Lukas groaning with need, letting him down on his feet and the clang of his belt being undone and the sense of cool release when he pulls his zipper down and then Lukas is kneeling before him, tugging his pants and underwear down, kissing the insides of his thighs while he pulls his boots off his feet and Philip barely has the mind to reach over Lukas’s shoulder into the side pocket of his backpack and pull out the tube he didn’t think they’d need so soon. Lukas shakes off his backpack and coat and wastes not another second before gathering him up in his arms again and they are skin against skin and pure want against pure want and cold liquid on fingers, searching, finding and moving and Philip is only sound and hunger, begging, pleading, pouring himself into Lukas’s mouth.

“Shit,” Lukas swears, his fingers still inside him but hips keep moving. “Condom.”

Philip looks across the room towards his own backpack, sitting by the foot of the bed on the floor, miles away.

“Lukas,” he pants, a brand new rush of heat burning through him. “It’s okay. Lukas, I want…” he swallows, “Let me feel you.”

Lukas freezes against him and Philip can see the hair on his arms stand on end when he shivers. Philip kisses his shoulder, slips a hand down the collar of his shirt at the back, nails grazing, turns his head to kiss the spot under his ear. Lukas raises his head from the crook of his neck and finds his gaze and he looks as astonished as Philip feels.

“Philip…” he manages.

“It’s okay” Philip whispers, words heaving out of him with the heavy surge of desire. “We’re safe. All those checks at the hospital. We know we are. It’s okay.” Philip leans in to take his lips, tugging at his hair lightly to tilt his head back and kisses him the way he loves most. Then he stares into his eyes and whispers into the space between hesitation and desire. The thought alone makes him ache so much he feels like he will cry out with need. “Please, Lukas. Just once… let me feel you.”

And nothing else speaks of how much Lukas Waldenbeck loves him more than when he stops moving, stops kissing him to cup his face in his hands and whispers to him like he is his sacred downfall.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Philip mutters the word into his mouth, their lips catching. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Lukas whispers, inhaling him. “Yeah.”

Lukas kisses him, open mouthed with listless abandon, until Philip is whimpering against his lips, writhing against the pressure against his hips, hands searching for purchase at anything he can grab to pull and peel away, just so that he could reach Lukas’s skin, feel the warmth of him, close his eyes and let the feel of him beneath his hands sketch him sharp in the glowing haze in his mind, draw his contours, map him out inch by inch, from the ridges of his spine bones to the curve of his shoulders.

“The lube,” Lukas pants into his mouth, eyes closed, desire giving color to his pale skin. Philip shivers at the implication, his exhalation nearly a moan. He drops the tube in his hand, drops his head on his shoulder, stills in breathless anticipation and listens.

Lukas’s hands work beneath him while Philip holds himself up against him. He hears him popping the lid open and the sound of rustling as he frees himself with a sharp gasp. Then there are fingers back on his skin, slick and smooth, slipping in and Philip leans back against the wall, eyes half-lidded, lost in the dark blue of Lukas’s eyes taking him deeper than his fingers do.

“You’re so beautiful,” Lukas whispers with awe, his voice breaking. He presses his forehead against his, panting with the same overwhelming need and the exertion, with the effort to hold Philip up. Philip licks into his mouth and then Lukas is aligning himself, his eyes searching for a final confirmation and Philip can only manage a nod. Slowly pressure builds and it’s all familiar, this gentle push and the delicious stretch, the unsparing euphoria of being filled by his counterpart, the extension of his soul, the second beat of his heart. And then Lukas sheaths himself all the way in and Eagle’s Nest slips away from Philip. His mouth falls open, his head falls back against the rounded log wall, hands close in fists around Lukas’s shirt, knuckles white.

It’s velvet soft and fire warm inside him. A kind of heat so intimate it brings tears to his eyes and the sense of absolute wholeness aches through his bones. Lukas’s pulse he can feel beneath his hand, throbs in the very core of him and Philip can’t speak, he can’t think, he can’t even breathe.

“Oh… oh Philip,” Lukas gasps, shaking against him, his voice cracking at the edge of a sob, “Philip… you… you are… oh God” He presses a hand to the wall beside Philip’s head, the other finds his cheek, thumb brushing the tears away. “Baby, breathe. Philip, breathe.”

Philip looks down at him and lifts a shaking hand to Lukas’s lips.

“I love you.” His chest heaves. “I love you so much. Lukas… Lukas…”

And Lukas kisses him and then he is moving, devastatingly slow and deeper than he ever could with the gravity helping him and the friction makes them both cry out against each other’s lips and Philip arches his back, his hands fly over his head to the wall, trying to find purchase and hooking at the jut of a log above his head and he helps pull some of his weight off of Lukas. They move together, Philip lowering himself as Lukas thrusts into him and Lukas leans into him with an arm against the wall from the elbow to the hand curled into a fist. His other hand digs into Philip’s hip and they find the other’s eyes, both too far gone in the heat of one another to speak.

With lids half-mast, they keep staring into each other’s eyes and rhythm finds them like they were made to make love, like it was a language only the two of them knew and needed nothing else to communicate. Pleasure swells in Philip’s gut like wildfire, expanding through him like the ocean in high tide, his breath hitches, sweat runs down the length of his spine and the flickering flames from the cast-iron stove catches on the glisten on his eyelashes before he closes them shut. His release steals a drawn-out moan from his lungs, blowing brilliant into blazes behind his eyelids and sends bone deep shivers down his thighs and Philip knows Lukas feels every wave roll through him from the way he buries his face in his neck to stifle his groan the same way he knows he is about to follow him.

“Stay,” he whispers to him before Lukas can ask and feels every last bit of control slip away from Lukas as he comes apart at his request. A sudden burst of heat spills inside him, making Lukas shake in his arms, open mouth pressed against Philip’s throat as he rides his climax and Philip fights the impending stupor of his own release to etch it to his memory, commands every nerve and muscle and bone in his body to remember what Lukas’s pleasure inside him feels like.

Time takes long to find itself. The orange of flames dance at the tips of Lukas’s hair. Broken only with the soft crackle of burning wood, the quiet holds them in its embrace.

It almost feels like the heat of it all has molded them together and Philip doesn’t know how to part from Lukas after this, cannot imagine how they could possibly go back to being two separate people in two separate bodies aching to live in each other’s skin. His hands loose purchase on the edge of the wood above his head and fall on either side of him. The abrupt emptiness feels like homesickness, even the mess only his to keep and Lukas braces both his hands against the wall, and consciously falls to his knees, taking Philip down with him. His arms go around Philip’s waist, head buried in the crook of Philip’s neck. He holds him tight, his whole body shaking and before Philip can ask if he is okay, Lukas’s lips find his ear.

“I love you,” he rasps breathlessly, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so fucking much, Philip, I love you. I love you.”

Philip pulls back to cup his face and tilts his head to find his eyes.

“I know.”

Lukas shakes his head. “You don’t know how much. I can’t tell you. It’s impossible.”

“Lukas,” Philip calls to him. Nuzzles against his nose, kisses him on the lips. Finds his hand and pulls it in between them, placing it over his heart. “Feel it. We are one. You and I. Look at me. There… What you feel right now is what I feel. Do you feel it? It’s the same. We are the same. It’s not impossible. It is us.”

Lukas looks at him, searches his eyes with wide-eyed wonder like he is watching a sunrise for the first time in his life. “It’s the same?”

“It’s the same.”

“Even though it’s me?”

Philip aches all the way through.

“Because it is you, Lukas.”

Lukas closes the distance between their faces, his thumb traces along the swell of his bottom lip still tender to touch with sweet abuse. “It is us,” he repeats with reverence.

“It is us,” Philip echoes.

Lukas kisses him. Philip can hear the way he repeats it with every dip of his tongue, every breath falling against his lips, every pound of his heartbeat.

_It is us._

He repeats it back to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Complementary piece to [Philip Shea](https://twitter.com/PhilipShea99/) and [Lukas Waldenbeck's](https://twitter.com/TheWaldenbeck) weekend trip. 
> 
>  
> 
> I love them so much.
> 
> If this makes you feel anything, please come and join us on Twitter and help us fight for renewal. Follow [@Eyewitness_US](https://twitter.com/eyewitness_us) and use [#wewanteyewitnessseason2](https://twitter.com/hashtag/wewanteyewitnessseason2?src=hash)
> 
> It is in your power to make them return. Be there for them.


End file.
